Moving to the South:What NOT to Expect
May 12, 2010
I found the following post on a message board about Kentucky. I found it to be baffling and funny, and I had several questions/observations come to mind. Here is the post, in its entirety, corrected for spelling, with the important parts bold-faced. Immediately following is a list of “10″ of my questions/observations:
“I grew up in Chicago. Five years ago I moved to Louisville, Kentucky, because the natural scenery of Kentucky is gorgeous and varied. I like to go camping. Before moving I knew it would be different, but how big of a chasm between Louisville and Chicago became evident after the first year. I have since regretted my move. The problems I find are; no window to the outside world; too much of a preoccupation with football and basketball; too many people who have guns; too much religion and constant talk of morals; too much blind loyalty to conservatism, lack of interesting radio and TV stations; scoffing at “book learning”; little interest for culture (movies, music, arts, etc); dull food; lack of decent jobs that pay a liveable wage. I’ve never lived anywhere where so many grown adults have such a problem with 5th grade english. I have nothing against the accent, sometimes I find it appealing, but it would be great to hear correct grammar. To me it seems absurd to drive thru the eastern part of Kentucky which has a poverty rate of 25%, to look at the run down trailers or small houses, but in front are flags, biblical quotes on signs, and vote Bush/Cheney stickers. It bothers me to see people who are getting shafted being so supportive of those who give them the shaft. Also, the people assume that I should have a fanatical loyalty to either the U of Louisville or U of Kentucky sports teams. When the two meet in football or basketball the whole state stops everything to watch. It’s the main event of the year. But it’s not all bad. I have met interesting people, but not very often. Most are friendly, but I avoid any conversations about politics or religion. I have been to France several times and like the country, but I wouldn’t dare mention that in Kentucky. I don’t vote Republican, don’t own guns, I am an atheist, don’t believe Rush, don’t drink Bud Light, don’t desire to own a Harley, and all that indicates that the South is not for people like me. But I’m stuck here for a while. If anyone remembers, the media spectacle called Justice Sunday happened in Louisville. The newly built Creation Museum is in Kentucky. In 2008 the NRA will hold its annual convention in Louisville. One thing I’ve noticed is that music groups don’t have concerts in Kentucky, other than Country, Southern Boogie or Kid Rock. Art exhibits detour Kentucky. How Louisville can financially maintain a symphony orchestra is beyond me. The guest list for the recent Kentucky Derby was mostly pro athletes and run-of-the-mill actors from TV shows, such as soap operas. Even the Louisville Courier-Journal termed it a b-list of guests.For lack of culture the Features section of the Courier-Journal has little more to report other than recipes and fashion tips. Once, as I purchased a copy of the New York Times, the clerk sneered at me.” The people are not mean and nasty, they are easy to engage in pleasant conversation, but I have become cautious about what I say. Most people are honest. To my surprise, the poorest counties have the lowest crime rates. I have also met Southerners who were very informed about current world events, thought the Bush administration was corrupt, appreciated the arts, and had thorough knowledge of foreign films. I’m sure there are many Southerners who cringe at being unfairly stereotyped, and I sincerely apologize to them. I only wish I could meet more of you.”
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10.) Why would someone move to a place solely based on liking the scenery and enjoying camping? Wouldn’t they want to know a little bit more about the area before committing to a permanent move?
9.) Guns, religion, morals, and conservatism in the South? Why does this not surprise me? Was he really expecting peace activists, New Age religions, moral relativism, and socialism/communism supporters?
8.) Even if the local TV and radio stations don’t pique one’s interest, the internet gives us access to anything we’d ever want to (or not want to!) see and hear. If this poster had a little bit of initiative, with a few clicks of the mouse he could’ve tuned into Al Jazeera, KKK TV/radio, or whatever floats his boat.
7.) This poster makes “book learning” look overrated. If he had a little bit more common sense (i.e. “real world learning”), he would have known a little bit more about the south before moving there, and thus wouldn’t have had such a rude awakening.
6.) What was he expecting for movies, music, arts, and food? I guess the books he read weren’t so smart after all. Otherwise they would have told him where the centers for each of these cultural forms is located. Other than Nashville, which is the country music capital, the hot spots are located away from the south…way far away! Actually, the food in the south can be amazing. But, I’m guessing that down-home country cooking wasn’t what he was looking for. He mentions loving France. Perhaps he was expecting Kentucky to possess some of the best French cooking in America?
5.) This man comes from Chicago, and he’s complaining about Kentucky grammar? We live just two hours from Chicago, and get a lot of inner city residents moving here from Chicago. Their grammar makes any casual, day-to-day, Southern speaker sound like they are speaking Oxford English. I get the feeling that the only time this poster appreciates the southern accent is when he hears it in an artsy film, created to exhibit the people of the south to snotty, “cultured” northerners, the same way animals are exhibited at the zoo.
4.) Does this man ever watch the news? Why is he so surprised by the small, run down houses (i.e. poverty), patriotism, religious enthusiasm, and Republican support? Kentucky is well known as a “red state.” Please tell me that he didn’t think this meant they support COMMUNISM (red army, red star, Red Square).
3.) Generally, one should avoid discussing politics and religion in polite conversation. He should take this principle and continue to apply it even after he has left the south far behind.
2.3) He describes himself as not being a Republican, not owning guns, being an atheist, and not being into Rush [Limbaugh], and then realizes that the south is not for him, and laments being “stuck” there for a while. Once again, if he had used a little bit of common sense, and/or done a bit of research, he wouldn’t have ended up moving there in the first place!
2.2) The Creation Museum, NRA convention, Country concerts, Southern Boogie concerts, Kid Rock concerts. Nothing surprising in that list. Was he expecting the National Pro Choice Museum, Anti-War convention headed by Cindy Sheehan, the Vienna Philharmonic?
2.1) He’s surprised they are able to maintain a symphony orchestra? Wow, that’s just insulting! I’m surprised he even knew he was in the south given his strange expectations. Okay, I admit it, I’m a little bitter, given that I’m from a hick town that has problems maintaining its symphony orchestra! 
2.0) I’m sure the clerk couldn’t care less what paper he chose to purchase. She wouldn’t have sneered at him unless he said something rude to her, and I wouldn’t put that past him.
1.) This man strikes me as the kind of person who, being a vegetarian, decides to frequent a deli because he used their restroom once (wasn’t actually buying anything), and enjoyed the music they had playing over their speakers. Once he starts going there regularly he notices the meat on display and all the customers around him eating meat. And this shocks and dismays him!
